The winter is going by so fast. We are already more than half way through February and while I am shocked, I can’t be mad. Each day that passes means we are getting closer to summer! And if you know me, you know I thrive during that season.
With how fast time is going by, I figured I would do a little check in this week and just write about what I have been up to and what’s been on my mind. Each week I try to take something that inspires me and turn that inspiration into words. Although I started off 2021 on a completely positive foot, I will be honest and say it’s been a little hard for me to find inspiration lately, and that’s for numerous reasons. Before I dive into that, though, I do want to say I realize how fortunate I am to have the opportunities I have to travel safely during a pandemic, to have the friends and family I am loved by in my life, and so on. I am healthy, I am mentally sane (generally), and I have a roof over my head. I am always grateful!
I began 2021 with so much excitement, but that excitement has honestly turned into mental exhaustion. I am in the process of moving yet again, and that has taken a huge toll on me. While I am beyond thankful to be moving into my dad’s house, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I feel very put off and upset by my mom’s move. Regardless, I hope she enjoys her new house and the new future she is building for herself. On that note, I have also been trying to mentally prepare myself to no longer live with my four dogs, who are the lights of my life. That for sure won’t be an easy transition.
Then, I have this looming feeling that what I am doing is never enough. I feel like my YouTube videos are lame, I am always worried I am not putting my best writing forward at work, and I just always feel like I am letting someone down. I know that is mostly not true, but the thought lingers.
Finally, if you saw my blog post about my New Year’s resolutions, I said I was going to be much pickier when it comes to dating and I definitely have been. Unfortunately, the one guy I let in said he was falling in love with me and then suddenly ended things with me on Valentine’s Day. Honestly when I say it, it sounds hilarious because that is just how dating is for me. Why? Who knows.
On the flip side, I am fortunate enough to have a lot of incredible friends all over, and as I type this rant, I am sitting on a couch in New York. I am so pumped because I am staying with a friend for a week which is definitely an adventure itself and is offering me a bit of a temporary escape from my issues. I’m also about to go skiing with someone that isn’t my family for the first time since high school, which I am stoked for (not that I have a problem skiing with my dad and pop pop — they’re the best). I am hoping to see a few other friends as well, but an impending snow storm may hinder my potential plans.
Well, I guess this means I will have to update you next week on how my week in New York and ski trip go. This post is definitely making me feel a lost less stressed. I know reading about someone’s grief, especially when it’s not “real” grief is never fun, but hey, we’re all humans. And I really needed this. Toodaloo for now, folks, and thanks for the company!