Thoughts: Finding My Way to My Mom

I have no idea what it’s like to be a mother. I have heard, and fully believe, that being a mother is a gift and develops a love like no other. I also have heard that somehow and some way, Mom is always right and if you don’t believe it now, one day she is going to be the one you turn to for help—not your best friend, not your sibling, not your significant other—your mother. I always knew the above mentioned things, but I did not always actually believe them.

My mother and I are quite different. I tell people that I am like my father, and my sister is like my mother, and my parents are divorced. People usually get a laugh out of that. Despite the fact that I have realized our differences over the years, I have opened my eyes to all the incredible qualities my mom has that she has thankfully passed on to me. During my childhood years, my mom provided me with the love and laughter that every kid needs. During my teen years, I was convinced I would never have a super close bond with her. Now, in the early stages of my adult years, after I have seen my relationship with my mother ebb and flow, I can confidently say we are close than ever, and I know that is how it will stay.

My mom is no average mom—we joke about things that other moms would be appalled to hear. I can say literally anything to her, serious or not, and she will not judge me. Well, she definitely judges me, but it is with so much love. That is my favorite thing about my mother. She may have no idea what I am up to half the time (I can’t blame her because I can barely follow my own life), but she is always there to listen to my crazy stories and ideas (and to share my life on Facebook to her friends). Just last night I called her and made her listen to my new musical discoveries and she patiently listened as I screamed at her to pay attention. Honestly, it may have been one of my favorite conversations with her.

Something notable she said to me last night is that she wants me to live in the house forever. First of all, I have never heard her say this. Ever. As much as I told her I am convinced she wanted me out of the house ten years ago (which may have been true), I almost want to believe a part of her was serious. This really meant so much to me and was actually quite unexpected. It made me smile that even through our disagreements, my constant singing and squealing around the house and my crazy ideas that have driven her mad over the years, she actually would want me to stay home. Home is where the daughter is, right?

Earlier I mentioned the infamous saying that Mom is always right. My mom may not always be right about everything, but when it comes to people and life lessons, she’s always about spot-on. I have seen her eye for observation in me, and I am so thankful for that. It took me 20 years to not just know, but to believe, that Mom is going to be the person I can come to with anything, even if I choose not to. Mom will be the person who says, “I told you so,” and I will be happy she did. Mom will be my confident and person I can trust with anything. This comes after realizing that the stuff she would tell her friends about me when I was younger is very unimportant, of course.

The last few years have really shown me that Mom really is going to be the one I tell everything to, the one who is going to pick me up drunk from a bar (that has NOT happened, I am just saying it could), and the one who is going to give me her two cents, but usually just when I ask for it. She may think I am crazy, but I think she is crazy too. And that is probably what has made our relationship so great. I fully think my mom insane, but what child doesn’t? And my mom constantly reminds me how weird I am. So, thank you, Mom, for thinking I am nuts, because I definitely got it from you. Every time you say how crazy I am feels like an accomplishment. Thank you for being there, for being real, and for not being boring. I can’t wait to see you and make you do things with me, just like you do to your parents.